I’ve had a lot of thoughts and feelings since Thursday, October 1- the day a madman opened fire in our Community College, killing 9 students, injuring many others, and forever changing the lives of so many students and families.
“My 17 year old should NOT have to deal with this. My girl should not be notified that she will no longer meet in Snyder 15 because it has been writhed with bullets; because it was turned into a murder scene; because God’s people were martyred for their faith right there, where she sat learning how to write business memos.”
These are just some of the emotions I’ve felt.
“Why should my child have to sit in math class feeling the pain and sorrow of that empty seat- the one 59 yr old Kim sat in just yesterday, before her life was taken from her?”
But you know what? This horrible tragedy is an eye opener to us. This sorrow, and our feelings of anger and emptiness, confusion and unbelief- these are emotions given to us for a reason. That reason is not to respond in vengeance.
I’m desperately grasping for a way to turn my mind from it, desiring God would turn time around and make it go away. But that’s not going to happen. Yes, God allowed this for reasons beyond our mind’s ability to grasp and I’m looking for ways to be thankful.
Of course I’m selfishly thankful my girl wasn’t there- that it happened on the only day she wasn’t in that room. And then I think about all those families. The “what-ifs” still flood my thoughts, and they remind me how precious this life is. Our time here in this tent of flesh is short, like a vapor, here one day and gone the next.
I hope we can all wake up with that reality. When we are bombarded with weariness and burdened with sorrow, let it take our minds straight to the truth that this life is but a moment and eternity is forever.
So as my girl returns to classes on a campus that will never look the same, as she seeks out her new classroom and scans the faces seated beside her, the smooth walls not riddled with bullets, may that moment of fear turn to all of God’s truths.
As she attempts to hold herself together and grasp equations and new math laws, silently mourning the woman with long grey hair, let my baby quietly pray for Kim’s family, for this community, for our nation, and for the condition of her own soul before God.
I pray this drives her heart to her Savior and opens her eyes to the evil that surrounds her. That she may understand that this war is not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. That she is at war with the ruler of darkness who seeks to destroy her life and soul.
Without obvious, heart breaking, life shattering evil, we grow blind to the hidden wickedness surrounding us. We forget the goodness and all-powerful God who paid a great price for our great sin because of His great love. How can we go a day and not acknowledge that?
God is good, Korrie. He is perfect and His ways unsearchable. His love for you reaches beyond the heavens. Satan is your enemy. He hates you with a hatred far greater than you’ve ever felt. His desire is to destroy you and everyone you care about.
Satan Is Real.
His Wickedness Surrounds You.
Don’t Ever Forget That.
And don’t let that reality overshadow the Tenderness, Compassion, and Grace of your God who quiets you with His love and rejoices over you with singing and Gladness.
Do not fear, let not your hands be weak. The Lord your God is in your midst, the Mighty One, will save!